husband says to his wife " we should wash your knickers in slimfast.. it might make your fat arse look thinner" next day putting his pants on he notices they"re covered in powder, " have you put talc in my pants babe?" no" she replies.. its fuckin miracle grow !!

two essex girls sitting in a pub in walks this georgeous hunk but he has bad dandruff.. 1st essex girl says he needs head and shoulders.. 2nd essex girl says how do you give shoulders... lol